


Goodbye, My Impossible Girl

by articcat621



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Angst, Eleventh Doctor Era, F/M, Feelings Realization, Heartbreak, Love Confessions, Regeneration Angst (Doctor Who)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:34:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24113620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/articcat621/pseuds/articcat621
Summary: Clara isn't ready to let her Doctor go.
Relationships: Eleventh Doctor/Clara Oswin Oswald
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14
Collections: Tropes & Fandoms 2020





	Goodbye, My Impossible Girl

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Written for Melting Pot's Tropes and Fandoms - character in peril. Many thanks to GaeilgeRua for looking this over.
> 
> Disclaimer: BBC owns Doctor Who, not me. Anything you recognise, I don't own. I'm not making any money from the posting of this fanwork.

Clara climbed down the steps quickly, looking around. She had to find him. She had to find the Doctor. Gazing up where she last saw him, Clara gasped when she saw the building was in ruins.

There was rubble everywhere as she exited the building. She could see fires burning and heard people screaming. Clara, however, had only one focus.

“Doctor?” she screamed, looking around.

In the midst of the rubble, she found the TARDIS. The old, blue police box stood there as if it were a shining beacon in the darkness. Clara ran towards it, hoping that he was inside. _Please, let him be safe._

Clara paused outside the door. She looked at the blue box, thinking back on all the times they’ve had together. Clara knew the old box didn’t like her, the TARDIS had made that clear from the beginning. But still, the TARDIS was a symbol of hope, and she hoped that he was inside.

Reaching down, Clara picked up the TARDIS’s phone. Slowly, she hung it up.

 _Please, Doctor. Please be all right,_ she whispered in her mind as she placed her hands on the door. Taking a deep breath, Clara pushed the door open and stepped inside. Glancing around, she didn’t see anyone, so she closed the door softly behind her.

Clara leant against the door, her thoughts racing. What would she do if he wasn’t there? What would the TARDIS do? Her heart ached at the thought of losing him, not when she had come so far with her feelings.

Her gaze drifted to the floor, where she noticed clothing. There was a jacket, an undershirt, trousers, and more. She walked closer to the console, inspecting a dish on it. She cringed when she saw it was fish fingers and custard. “Gross,” she murmured softly.

The TARDIS emitted a soft humming noise, startling her.

Clara frowned as she looked up. It was almost as if she could feel the TARDIS’s emotions, and it felt like the TARDIS was sad.

She started to walk in the direction of the discarded clothes. Holding her breath, she began to walk down the stairs that would lead her to the closet. Halfway down, she paused.

The sound of footsteps filled her ears.

Turning, she saw the Doctor standing on the opposite side of the control room. He wore a small smile on his face.

Clara let out a sigh of relief. She gave him a large grin as her heart beat wildly in her chest. _He’s all right! He’s alive!_

“Doctor,” she said, running back up the steps.

He smiled at her once more, but his expression was pained. “Clara,” he murmured.

Clara pointed at him, smiling. “You’re young again. You’re okay.” She took a small step towards him. “You didn’t even change your face.”

He let out a laugh. He glanced away from her. “It’s started. I can’t stop it now. This is just the reset. A whole new regeneration cycle. Ohhh.” He grinned excitedly, oblivious to the painful expression on her face. He picked up his bowl of custard and licked some of the edges.

Clara could feel her heart breaking as she stared at him. She forced a laugh, glancing away from him.

“Taking a bit longer,” he said, walking around the console. “Breaking it in.” He let out a small oomph, as he wobbled into the console. The Doctor readjusted himself, before pushing one of the levels up and pulling one down. The TARDIS emitted a soft noise, the type of noise it made before landing somewhere.

She watched him carefully.

“Oh, it just disappears, doesn’t it? Everything you are gone in a moment, like breath on a mirror. Any moment now, he’s coming.” He moved towards Clara as he spoke, a wistful smile on his face.

“Who’s coming?” Clara asked, looking at him.

“The Doctor,” he whispers, grinning at her.

“You,” Clara responds, shaking her head. “You are the Doctor.”

“Yes,” the Doctor replies, struggling to stand upright. “And I always will be.” He held his hand up, which was now glowing. The regeneration was coming closer and closer. “But time’s changed, and so must I.”

Dread filled Clara. Any moment now, her Doctor would cease to exist. The man that she loved would be gone, and some stranger would fill his place.

“We all change when you think about it. We’re all different people, all through our lives, and that’s okay, that’s good. You got to keep moving, as long as you remember all the people that you used to be. I will not forget one line of this. Not one day, I swear. I will always remember when the Doctor was me.”

The Doctor paused before reaching up. With one hand, he pulled his bowtie free and let it fall to the floor. He smiled at her before grimacing.

“No, no!” Clara said, crying. She shook her head.

“Clara,” he whispered. 

“No, you can’t do this!” she cried. “You can’t leave me, not when I’ve…”

“When you’ve what?” he asked.

“You’re so daft!” Clara shouted angrily. “You can’t leave me like this when I’ve finally realized that I love you!”

The Doctor’s eyes widened. “What?” he whispered. “Clara, what are you talking about?”

“I love you, you big idiot! But you’ve always been too blind to notice. The signs were always there, but you never noticed.” Clara sniffed, knowing that the tears were pouring down her face. “All the hugs and kisses I’ve given you. I gave up my human life for you!” Clara shouted angrily. “I went into your own time-stream to save you, Doctor! I’ve died thousands and thousands of times — all for you. Do you even know how much it hurts? Knowing that me, this copy, isn’t even whole anymore? My mind isn’t my own, it’s filled with memories of you and me. Lifetimes, Doctor, of us being together!” She moved closer to him. “I even stopped you from making the biggest mistake of your life.” Clara paused, shaking her head. “You would have pushed that button, Doctor, with your other selves. You would have used the Moment without even thinking twice if I hadn’t stepped in. I stopped you from destroying Gallifrey because I knew what that regret did to you.”

“You shouldn’t remember that,” the Doctor interrupted her, looking at her warily. “The paradox should have erased your memories.”

“But it didn’t,” Clara pressed. “That’s why I’m your impossible girl. I remember everything, Doctor. Every moment I’ve ever lived for you, and every moment I’ve ever died for you. I remember our marriage in Gallifrey. I remember the kiss we shared when I was a governess in London, 1892. I remember dying in the Dalek Asylum as I helped you escape. I remember it all, and I would do it all again.”

“Why?” he whispered, a painful expression on his face.

“Because I love you,” Clara insisted. “I love you, Doctor. I always have.” She shook her head. “And now you’re leaving me? After everything I’ve done for you, you’re leaving me!”

“I don’t have a choice,” the Doctor said, looking at her pleadingly.

“That doesn’t make me feel better,” she whispered. “Don’t change, Doctor. It’s not a fixed point just yet.”

“Clara, it’s too late,” he whispered. “But I— I wish I knew. All that time wasted.”

“ _Please_.”

“Your affections aren’t unreturned, you should know,” he whispered. “My sweet, sweet Clara. I buried my feelings for you. You were important to me, and you still are. You are the most important thing to me, Clara, and I will always protect you.” He paused. “Even if it’s not this face that’s doing it.”

Clara shook her head again, unable to stop crying. “Please don’t change.” She reached her hand out, hoping to hold his hand one last time. “ _Please_.”

“Clara, my impossible girl.” His hand reached out to touch her offered one.

The Doctor suddenly jerked backwards as a yellow-reddish glow enveloped him. When he looked at her seconds later, he wore a new face.

A gasp escaped Clara’s lips as she jumped back. He was old. Much, much older than her Doctor had been. His eyes darted around the room as Clara continued to observe him.

Him, not the Doctor, but him.

He was a stranger. He wasn’t the Doctor. He wasn’t her Doctor.

No, her Doctor was gone. The Time Lord before her was a perfect stranger.


End file.
